I love food so much, that I let it run my life! I could have $25 and I’d spend $22 to satisfy my craving for the very dish I was salivating over (just to leave a $3 tip). Then the very next day, I’d wakeup frustrated with myself because once again, I spent my last, and was bloated with no self-control.

WHY was I stuck in this cycle? Because… 

I deserve to treat myself. 

 I’m social and enjoy time with friends and family dinners.

 It’s work related. 

I was seeking to fill a void. 

I was escaping into what I thought was comfort. 

Food addiction is a struggle for millions of people in the U.S. who don't even notice the problem it causes from living a high-quality life. Compulsive eating, emotional eating and spending an excessive amount of time thinking about food takes over ones ability to live a life that doesn't revolve around the pleasure in eating. What about the after affect though, how does this behavior add value to ones life, or physical capabilities of the body?

Growing up, I was fortunate to have a home cooked meal 5-7 days a week. Eating out was a treat - time to enjoy a meal with family when mom didn’t have to cook. Once I graduated high school and started college, I spent a lot of time running the streets and eating out at least 1 meal a day (sometimes 3!). I kept a very busy schedule, so when I wasn’t working, at the gym or in class, I was eating out with friends!

“God didn’t create junk food.” A comment my grandpa said when I was a child which then was a mantra I accepted to keep unhealthy foods in my diet. When I was 24 my grandfather died from a series of strokes, that first left him paralyzed his last three years here on earth. In question of why my papa suffered these strokes, I found it was the diet that caused an abrupt blockage of arteries leading to the brain. Biscuits & gravy for breakfast, mac-n-cheese with pork chops at lunch and fried chicken with mashed potatoes for dinner flashed into my head. So, it was these country-style meals that brought on this clog in his arteries!? I then realized, God may have not created junk food, but MAN did. After this life awakening, I filled myself with more nutritious foods, cutting out the ‘junk’ foods. 

Six years later, a hospital stay that kept me for kidney failure changed my life again. I needed to take control of my health! After this scare, I noticed how often I ate for pleasure and not nourishment. I was more aware of how often I ate fried foods, multiple times in just 1 week. Sweets were a favorite of mine, huge desserts after a meal, picking up a bag of Skittles or a Snickers bar. So, I had to make small changes - eat more fruits and veggies in place of the 'junk', and make more meals at home. However, because my busy social life, I was still eating in restaurants, a lot. 

Curious to what worlds were like outside my bubble and to explore more of myself, I took a 4-month backpacking trip through Europe. That was quite the ‘fun’ trip with lots of uncontrollable eating and partying. I returned to the states the heaviest I had ever been, yet spiritually empty inside. 

With no tie to a corporate America job, and living this ideal travel, free-range, non-restricted life, I was depressed. Fogged brain, confused heart and aimless jobs filled my day-to-day living – this had to change! Scrolling thru Instagram (an activity that started to consume most my time) a meme that showed the consciousness level based on one’s diet caught my eye. So, I decided to do a 90-day fast.  

Is it true the foods, drinks and drugs that go into the body affect mental and emotional health, in harmony with the physical function of living? I was ready to put this theory to the test!  

For 95 days I ate only alkaline. I ate foods that were 100% from nature, no meat, no hybrid foods, no processed or GMO foods, nor alcohol. Just one week into this detox my depression began to dissipate. As excitement in gaining control over my bad eating habits grew my brain fog shrunk. A month into the detox my energy level and mental clarity put me into a space of understanding how much food had controlled my life and how I used eating to mask emotional pain. As weeks passed by I thought of these absolutes on what I would keep out of my diet going forward. Although I felt good on my diet I was struggling with the thought in how I would live without pizza, French fries, desserts and the like of foods I so enjoyed. 

When the fast ended, I had elevated my way of thinking, and self awareness. It wasn’t about absolutes or having a perfect diet or exercise regimen, rather continuing to learn while I grow. Taking 90 days to be intentional with what I ate and daily activities gave me the power to release my attachment to food. ‘I live to eat’ is a mentality I decided to no longer live by, because eating communicates with the DNA of the body. My reason in living is to be connected to my purpose and function at an optimal level. Food is my fuel to assure my mental, physical and emotional levels are sustained in a healthy manner. 

I still love food and enjoy a tasty meal, at home or out at a restaurant. I'm just now more aware of what I put into my mouth and why. Whether it a be a home cooked meal, a quick pickup or a sit down dish at a restaurant -  I seek foods that are deliciously nutritious. I don't eat perfectly healthy everyday, but I eat to live. When I eat a meal that is not the healthiest, I don't feel bad because I have control over the amount and how often I eat unhealthy fried foods, large desserts, pastas and bread.

I encourage you -  find your healthy eating pattern, shop to eat different foods, cook with herbs and spices, get creative in the kitchen, follow healthy chefs on socials, and feed your body the nutrients it needs to thrive! Be a conscious eater.  

Replenish Thyself!

Jessica N. Colon